This is my last blog entry. Tomorrow I fly back to NY and my quasi-PC lifestyle at home is coming to a close. It's back to the real world full of health insurance, apartment hunting, paying rent, looking for a job, etc. It's exciting and terrifying all at once. I brought back some of my favorite village clothes so when I get overwhelmed, I'm going to put them on and stare at the ceiling and reflect on life, for authenticity I might even lay on the floor. This simple activity became such an important part of my life in the rice field that I want to keep it going. It kept me feeling more balanced, content, and calm and I'm going to need that.
My life will forever be changed and different because of my 2+ years in the rice fields of Thailand. So many frustrating days and weeks were spent dwelling on my desire to just be done with PC and be back in NY with "real" responsibilities and quantifiable activities and expectations. And now that that day starts tomorrow, it feels very strange. I'm excited to be able to hang out with my friends on a whim, go to museums, eat at a variety of restaurants, and just feel "normal." However, I don't know what that "normal" will feel like for me. It certainly won't be what I viewed as normal before PC so that's going to take some time and reflection to figure out what "normal" means to me now.
My one true fear is that it will feel like Peace Corps and the rice field never happened. My life will just pick right back up and be super busy, and the rice field will disappear and feel like a dream. I don't want it to feel like a dream, I want to treasure, reflect, and build upon my rice field life. I'm hoping one way to channel this is through grad school. I'm happy to report that I was accepted to the 3 grad schools I applied to, and my current plan is to attend NYU and study Nonprofit Management and Public Policy with an international focus. I hope to incorporate the many lessons I learned in Thailand into my classes and projects. After grad school, I want work in the international development field at an NGO. I want to create and analyze international development programs so that people in less developed areas can learn and gain new skill sets to improve their own lives. Perhaps this is super idealistic and hokey, but it's what I want to do. My life in the rice field shows me that it's possible, with a lot of patience, understanding, and an open mind. I will probably never make much money, but that's okay with me because I feel inspired and empowered to continue what I started in the rice field.
So now it's time to move onto to the next thing. Just like I gave myself pep talks in the village, I will have to give myself similar talks in NY... you can do this, go easy on yourself, be nice to yourself, be gentle to yourself, and just go with it.
Thank you for following along with me on this crazy journey. It's been therapeutic to share my ups and downs with you. And perhaps I will start a blog on my next crazy experience, but for now, it's goodbye from the rice field.
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