The Snake Saga

Let me preface this entry with some background. Of all the animals on this fine earth, snakes scare me the most by far. I can't explain it, I have no particular reason for this fear, but it's been a fear of mine for as long as I can remember. Snakes terrify the living bejeebies out of me. I can handle geckos, lizards, spiders, cockroaches, birds, mice, even bed bugs, but snakes are a creature that I simply cannot handle inside my house.

So let me tell you the snake saga.

Yesterday morning, I woke up and groggily and opened the metal gates in front of my porch door. These gates require using a key and shoving the doors open. They don't slide easily so it involves a little force. I felt something kind of heavy drop down onto my head. Every once in awhile a lizard will fall into my hair and it will quickly scurry out. Not ideal, but I can handle that. But this felt heavy and it wouldn't get off, and that's when I realized it was a snake and it's tail got hooked around my glasses. I screamed and threw off my glasses and the snake went flying as well. It was decent sized and looked greenish, but I couldn't really tell because my glasses were off. I was so scared, shocked, and taken aback that unfortunately I didn't see where it went. I immediately ran over to Grandma's house and she and her son were cooking breakfast. I was not even remotely dressed appropriately (shorts and a tank top) and I'm flailing around trying to explain what happened. The grandson seriously stared at me like I was crazy. Grandma finally came over and I reenacted the event for her. She just laughed and said "No problem, all house have them" and walked off laughing. Okay... not quite what I wanted to hear.

That evening, I was nervous to close and lock up the gates again before going to bed. I thought to myself "another snake couldn't fall, right?" WRONG. This time as I shoved the gates closed, a baby snake fell. Again, I was surprised and didn't see where it went, which makes me really angry with myself. But I was terrified and fear does funny things to one's common sense.

One friend who lives in Thailand informed me that there is a poisonous type of snake who in nature lives up in branches and then as a tactic, simply falls and then does it's poisonous business, but in populated areas it hangs out on ledges and gates. Not great news, but I need all the facts. I doubt the snakes in my house are this kind, but you never know.

I didn't sleep at all last night. I tossed and turned and checked the time nearly every hour. And when I did fall asleep, I had dreams about evil snakes. Ugh.

I woke up exhausted, but couldn't bare to stay in bed any longer. All I could think about was having to open those gates and the possibility of another snake sighting. I even did yoga this morning in an attempt to calm myself before opening the gates. I got out a cutting board to smash/stun the snake, a kitchen knife, and a can of Raid (don't ask me why, but it made me feel more powerful). Two years ago, when I arrived to site, I made a map of my community on a big piece of poster board and never used it since. Well, today I used that to cover my head as a big hat in the event that another snake fell. I bet Peace Corps didn't anticipate this use when they made it a requirement to draw community maps.

I was literally shaking and felt like I could throw up as I psyched myself up for battle. It took me at least 10 minutes as I slowly, step by step, opened the gates. Nothing. Relief and disbelief flowed through me.

And then, this afternoon, I was on the phone with my counterpart and there was a third snake of medium size just hanging out in my doorway. I ran upstairs and yelled down to Grandma to come over. Confused, she came over right as the snake slithered out. (Even the word slither gives me the heeby jeebies). I told her I saw another snake and she just laughed and went on a rant about how all the houses have them and that a cat will just eat them and walked back over to her house.

And then it dawned on me. In Thai, the words "snake" and "mouse" are oddly really similar. So she's been thinking this whole time I've been talking about mice, when in fact I don't care about mice. I wrote out the word snake in Thai and marched back over there. Once she realized, her face dropped and she grabbed a massive stick and rushed back over. She checked every nook and cranny in my house and I retold her every detail of the encounters. She did not seem pleased. She said if I see another snake I need to call her name immediately.

So the bad news is that a family of snakes moved into my house, the good news is that at least Grandma now understands what's going on. I'm legitimately not doing well mentally with all of this. Like I said earlier, snakes are by far one of the scariest animals to me and I feel like all common sense and balance have disappeared and I am now slightly unstable. Thailand sure is testing me right now.

I'll be sure to update you all on my life with the new roommates...